(no subject)

[loobee]

I just wanted to explain my stupid emo post and why I’m going away for a bit (well trying anyways)

On Friday my dog Kaneda had a stroke, since then I’ve been so upset as it was devastating seeing my baby like that. He’s not alright and won’t ever be and come Monday I’m scared to death I’m going to have to make the hardest choice I’ve ever made. After a call to my best friend and crying my eyes out I needed cheering up so went on AIM (hadn’t gone on for weeks) in hope someone would say hi and help me cheer up, well no one did and I get too shy to say hello back and pester people. So I waited and still no one said hello, and being upset already I got really down. 

It’s just that I feel I don’t belong anywhere and especially not in peoples groups of friends and I hate feeling like I'm pushing my way into them. Sorry I don't mean to. I know some trust me and I love that they do as I trust them so much too and of course I love you all dearly. I just wonder what it is that makes me unapproachable? Am I weird? I know I can be dull and shy; I’m trying so hard to get over that. But then again maybe my insecurities are why people avoid me and I’m so sorry. I wish I knew a way to get rid of them really.  I don't know what to do?

 
I’m an idiot loser and I don’t blame you for the Bwaaah!!! Cry moar you’re going to be thinking now. So I felt I should take a hiatus and just go away while I’m so down because come Monday I won't be in any state to do anything.

Thanks to the one person who asked how I was.

I'll be going away now D: I'll totally understand if you de-friend me.

Comments

[loobeeinthesky.livejournal.com]

Thank you sweetie, it's very hard as he's been my shadow for 14 years and I'm so scared for him *hugs* I'm trying to be brave but it has got me down ;_;

I'm so sorry Ci-chan I feel terrible now, I'm sorry you have to see me when I getting in one of my stupid moods. And don't say sorry it's really my fault for letting my shyness get the better of me and being to scared to contact people. Just re-read what I wrote a it sounds awful :( I do love the friends I've made. I'll miss you loads too but I'll be back when things are better.

Thank you ♥ *hugs* I'd be eternally sad if you did ;_;