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loobeeI'm always stealing your memes Alex XD
A. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself
B. Tag seven people to do the same - Giving free will on that one
C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it"- see freewill
Hard thinking of interesting things about myself, said the worst to Miss Alex so wont repeat it here (too sad) and to try and think of things you may not know about me already as I’m too honest and tell people out right. And it’s 1am here so if I’m going of on some weird tangent ignore me. So erm.....
1. I’m still very much a kid at heart. I still watch cartoons for goodness sake and I don’t just mean anime *laughs* I love cute things, I cry watching Pokemon or Iron giant (yeah laugh at me) I want to be the hero who saves the day in the video games I play. I smile so much when Okami makes the flowers bloom, or Phoenix Wright shouts ‘OBJECTION’ on a case. I don’t think I’ll ever grow up and I really never want to.
2 . I’m alone quite a lot; it’s not a lie when I say I’m lonely, because I don’t lie to friends. I live at home with my mum in a tiny village where I know no one. Some of my friends and dear sister live in the town over, some live very far away and all have their own lives and families and it’s so very hard to see them. So I get lonely a lot. I call, text, email and send a pigeon(joke) to stay in touch but you know I miss their faces and it’s hard seeing them having lives and no longer being part of it. I don’t feel resentful just sad because I want my life to echo theirs. It will one day I’m sure but till then I’m alone. Give me frog to kiss so I’ll get my prince *lol*
3. I think far too much, seriously I can’t do anything without plotting the pros and cons or the where and wherefores. Even a haircut is a precisely thought out plan. When I plan a trip to see my friends I have to know the exact times, where I’m going and so forth. And I can never do anything without getting peoples opinion on it. I have to be doing something or I get completely bored, I have notes and doodles everywhere. I’m an insomniac because I can’t turn my mind off at night.
4. I’m an extrovert trapped in an introverts body, a weird paradox I know but it’s true. I’m so terribly shy but sometimes I do things that even shocks myself. I wanted to go to a con with friends on the net...I went, do the mad trolly dash at the supermarket, dive bomb into the ball pool at the kiddie park and I embarrassed the local bully at my last work place and made him shut up all week with one well placed insult. I can do this yet I’m so shy? I’m the girl who won’t mutter a word with strangers, yet when I met my friend Yenny I couldn’t shut up talking, I’m the one scared of going anywhere by myself yet I went to London on my own to watch LOTR with some online geek friends. I’m a very strange girl and don’t understand myself sometimes, but sad to say the shy side wins the most.
5. I’m lazy, or more correctly have no self discipline. I have since I was young always wanted to be an artist; it’s my one true dream. Yet because of that lazy side I never get round to doing what I am supposed to be doing. I really need people to push me or I’ll procrastinate. It’s sad because of it my dream will never come true. Though this I feel leads from my totally lack of confidence. I feel I could have accomplished anything if I had not lost it. I feel I’m too old to even try now, who wants to hire and old artist when there are so many talented youngsters out there.
6. This is probably the worst thing about me that no matter how much someone says they like me or I’m a good person I seem to twist it round to being disliked. It stems from the fact I was bullied so much at school to see no self worth in myself. I’m not as bad now, I see I’m just as good a person as anyone else but it’s this weird little mental block I have. Add to that I get upset over the most stupid shit but at least I’m aware of that *looks embarrassed*
7. I can’t throw anything away. Seriously my room is so full of junk and books I don’t really need but I think ‘you know I just may need it in the future’ That’s why I’m always tripping over old toys, my books are keeping my bed up and half of them are from the early 80’s. What do I need a My Little Pony album for at my age?
Guess you can see I'm a little happier today as the posts only got a bit of the grumpy me in there*lol*
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no subject
on 2008-01-25 01:38 am (UTC)1.) I think this whole "growing up" business is overrated. I mean, people claim that people like us that like cartoons or tear up over a touching anime scene or whatever are "childish", but honest - grown men like to play with model trains, always have, housewives do arts and crafts, and so on. Everyone needs their own little world or their little escape; it makes them happy and keeps them going for the real world out there. If Phoenix Wright puts you in a great mood, it´s the best thing you can do, dealing with the things you like. I think more people would like to be like that and don´t dare to, really. ;D
2.) You know...my boyfriend is in a similar position. He has moved from his home to another city to study, but he lives in a little village near Berlin, and all his friends are elsewhere, and he finds it hard to connect to people at college, and the only person he really knows is, basically, me. I know that´s a VERY tough situation. It´s hard to not feel like a lonesome dork there. And there´s really no easy consolation for that. I´m sure your friends miss you, too. I really hope you´ll find a workplace one day with nice colleagues, or get to know more people on the internet. I agree, people need to communicate, or they´ll go nuts. Sorry I´m not around more, really. ♥
3.) Lol throwing thoughts back and forth about every little thing, I know that. XD Can be pretty tricky because if you debate things too much with yourself, the bad consequences stand out so much more than the good ones. ^^* However, relying on other people´s advice can be really good at times. Even though I´m more one of these "Do now, worry later" people. Horrible, I know. XD But honestly, sometimes, try not to worry about the consequences too much. A lot of times they´re not as bad as you think they´ll be.
4.) This may sound cheesy, but yes, it IS always the quiet ones. ;D My roommate is very introverted and soft spoken, but when she starts to dish out HOLY CRAP! I think you should be proud you have a wild girl inside you; you don´t have to let her out on every occasion! Things like shutting up the bully or going crazy with your friends are so much more priceless then. You really should hold on to the people that bring that side out in you!
5.) I know that. :/ Letting opportunities go to waste despite having potential is totally my hobby. ^^* Think about the fact that Rowling wrote Harry Potter at 40 and Tolstoi wrote some of his greatest novels at 50, and some great painters started to put out their really good works at over 60. You´re NOT too old, it´s not over, and everybody has their own pace. So don´t give up on yourself. (That doesn´t mean you should wait that long, but you know the point.^^*)
6.) That´s some really serious insecurity. Damn. It´s always hard when it gets to the point where you have difficulties to accept nice things being said to you... I hope you´re not offended when I say this, but I have been to the therapist before, and sometimes it helps to speak to a completely neutral person about things like these. If people tell you you´re great, you should be able to accept it! *hugs*
7.) I´m the opposite - I throw things away compulsively and am obsessed with order (You saw my desktop and my room XD), but getting attached to things is not a crime. Maybe you should take a moment off one day and look at all the things and find out which of these you REALLY like and which not? ^^ OR buy a bigger shelf. ;D However, that My Little Pony album sounds cute, I had one too. There´s nothing wrong with keeping that!
no subject
on 2008-01-25 03:24 pm (UTC)1. Personally I think it’s sad when people try to grow up too quickly, even at say 60 there is no harm in dabbling in your kiddie side as my mum and her addiction to ‘cooking mama’ proves :D
2. He’s very lucky to have you but I hope things get better for him too. I’ll get to see my friends in a week or so but only for a few days but at least I’ll see them. I just hope I can find a job soon; I miss my old design job as I got on like a house on fire with the guys working there. I’ll have to admit I’m finding it very hard to make friends on the net, being shy doesn’t help as it hard going up to people I hardly know and going ‘hi want to be friends’. I don’t really know what to do about that. I think it’s why I annoy the crap out of the few friends I do have because I get bored. Oh and don’t say sorry *grrr* I love talking to you but I know your ever so busy, as an ex college girl I know how much hard work you have to do.
3. I definitely know it’s bad as it was doing that which talked me out of doing RP, too many imagined cons. It’s not horrid at all being a ‘do now’ person I’d love to do that then maybe I wouldn’t be able to scare myself out of things that may be fun to do.
4. Ha-ha people always say that when I’m being silly. Honestly I sometimes wish I could be that girl most of the time, to not let my fears rule my life. But then again I would miss seeing the surprise on peoples faces when I do something totally unexpected :D
5. Wise words. I think it’s because people always say I should settle down and that I’m too old to follow my dreams and I listen to them. But I’m going to listen to what you’ve said instead :D I hope you do the same and fight of those lost moments :D
6. It’s not so bad now, but yes it’s still there. I’m not offended at all because that is something I’ve been thinking of doing, it comes from bottling so much up that maybe I really do need to talk to someone that wont throw it back at me.
7. I know your room was so neat *steals* I will admit Ebay's helped a little in convincing me to get rid of some of my clutter :D Some things have so many memories attached I find it hard to let them go though, such as the album.
no subject
on 2008-01-25 04:53 am (UTC)#7 = SO ME.
no subject
on 2008-01-25 03:28 pm (UTC)7.Nice to know I'm not the only hoarder, I'm sure my ceiling will collapse soon under the weight :D
no subject
on 2008-01-25 10:12 am (UTC)I spend most of my time alone, too, but I don't feel lonely often ;;; I like my loneliness, haha (=w=;
But if you want to spend more time with your friends, you should do something to make this become true ne!
About your art, it's never late if you have talent @@;
This is not a model career, people aren't going to care about how old or how young you are, because what sells is your art, not yourself. No one knows artists' ages anyway, unless they do research, how does it matter? If you like it, I say go for it!
no subject
on 2008-01-25 03:43 pm (UTC)Oh I'd swap with you I get so lonely I always want people to chat to even if I bore the hell out of them *lol* I do get to see my friends but often only for a few days. They work I have to find work and it gets hard to find space in all that time to see them. But hopefully once I start work again I'll meet new people that live closer.
Thanks Akane chan ♥ I believe I just got jaded at how many young talented people there are more so than me that don't make it as an artist. I always thought if they can't I don't stand a chance, but then how will I ever know if I don't try? I actually want to design characters for computer games as lame as that sounds.